There’s a lot to think about in the guest post below. Author Jennie Nash lays it on the line. She’s jealous and she’s not afraid to say so, or to use that to her advantage. Whether you find yourself jealous of your colleagues or not, there are some wise words below for writers to motivate themselves to keep on keepin’ on, no matter what.
In my case, I searched my soul and psyche and can tell you that I’m not jealous of anyone’s writing or publishing success. I’m jealous of people who can eat a whole cake and not gain weight. I’m jealous of nice rich people (not so much the mean ones). But writers? Nope. Not now anyway. But I do see Jennie’s points and how we can be pushed to better ourselves when someone is doing what we aspire to do, or has what we (think we) want.
Please welcome Jennie Nash to Women’s Fiction Writers!
Amy xo
P.S. Don’t be jealous that Jennie has a guest post on WFW. If you have an idea for a guest post, just email me and we’ll see if it fits. As long as it’s about writing, and non-promotional, I’m happy to consider it for Fall/Winter 2013.
Three Ways Writers Can Put Jealousy to Work
by Jennie Nash
On the front cover of my latest novel – my seventh book – there is a blurb from the great novelist Caroline Leavitt. “Absolutely dazzling,” it says. It’s part of a longer quote that appears on the back of the book, which includes more specific and awesome praise. I have never met Caroline Leavitt, but we are cyber-friends, she is good friends of a writer friend of mine, and she taught in the writing program at UCLA where I teach, which is how I ended up with the killer blurb. Also, Caroline is among the most generous and engaged writers you will ever meet and she’s the kind of super nice person who would read the manuscript of someone she’s never met, and email every few hours to squeal with delight to tell that writer how much fun she’s having with your story. When I received her blurb, I had the highest hopes for my book – and I mean high. Caroline Leavitt herself had recently been on The New York Times bestseller list, boldly switched publishers, landed a juicy deal, and found the kind of career transforming support she needed to keep writing her books — and I wanted to orchestrate a similar move. Caroline Leavitt was my proof that it could be done. She was my North Star.
I have every reason to love and adore this woman – and yet right now I can’t even read her posts on Facebook without feeling my stomach clench. Every morning when I sit down to my desk to work, Caroline Leavitt mocks me from my favorite industry blog, where her latest novel – Is This Tomorrow – is being touted in a snappy ad. I’m afraid to go into a bookstore because I just know that her book is going to be stacked on the front table, with a charming handwritten note from one of the members of the staff. I’m afraid to talk to our mutual friend because the last time we chatted, I heard that Caroline had sold her next novel to her super supportive awesome publishing house. And my novel? The one Caroline blurbed? It’s not in the bookstore. It’s not on the excellent blog. Unless something remarkable happens that’s out of my control, my book has died on the vine, and meanwhile Caroline Leavitt is stomping on grapes and making jubilant wine.
Do I sound a tad bit jealous? You bet I am and I’m not going to pretend otherwise, and neither, I believe, should you. Jealousy can be good. If handled the right way (which is to say without any damaging public rants, brooding bouts of melancholia, or Soliere-like criminal insanity) it can be like rocket booster fuel for your writing career. Here’s how:
1. Jealousy is a reminder that you’re doing something you care about.
Writing a book is a long, hard, difficult lonely undertaking. Why do it, if you don’t care about it with a fiery passion? It would be far easier and more pleasant to grow heirloom tomatoes or take up paddle boarding. My jealousy proves to me that I’m nowhere near ready to throw in the towel. Oh sure, I went through some weeks of claiming that I was going to quit writing, of claiming that it was just too painful, of claiming that I was done with this fickle business where you can pour out your heart and soul and get nothing but silence in return. But I wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all myself. In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Ruben says that failure is “part of being ambitious; it’s part of being creative.” Jealous, too. So if you’re feeling jealousy of another writer, consider it a good thing. It means you’re found something that matters to you.
2. Jealousy shows you specifically what you want, and specificity is critical in setting and reaching goals.
Every writer needs to constantly be evaluating and setting goals, on both a small scale and a large, and they should ideally be SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. Here’s a fast and clear explanation on all that from the human resources department at MIT.) In the beginning of a book’s creation, your goal might be, “Write 3 pages a day.” In the beginning of a career, it might be, “Send out 3 queries a week to agents who represent the kinds of books I write” or, “Blog once a week about my book topic.” In the middle of a career, when you know you can spin a good tale, you know you can do the work required to get it on the page, and you already have a great agent in your corner (which is where I am), things tend to get a little muddy. My jealousy of Caroline Leavitt has helped give me focus. I know more specifically what I want, and I have a clearer idea of what I need to do to get there. What does your jealousy show you about what you want? How can you translate that into action?
3. Jealousy gives you something to prove.
I’m not just staying in the game; I’m staying in it to win. I’ve got a chip on my shoulder. I’ve got something to prove. I am worthy of big juicy support. I can write a novel that lots and lots of readers love. Watch me. And if it doesn’t work? As any good novel proves, a character with a strong motivation is, if nothing else, a character with a good story, so I may not pull it off, but at least it will be an interesting journey.
What about you? What do you have to prove?
Jennie Nash is a writing coach, whose most recent novel is Perfect Red. She has a special offer on her website for readers of Women’s Fiction Writers – a free sneak peak of her forthcoming book, The Writers’ Guide to Agony and Defeat. Visit her at jennienash.com to check it out and use the password WFW6.
What an honest post. I’ve also had two more successful (and younger!) writers supply me beautiful cover blurbs for my next book, and a wonderful comment from a bestseller on my first. And yes it does hurt to think that my books aren’t in many shops and are mostly ordered, and it’s so very hard to win prizes or see your book reviewed in major newspapers. I guess I do feel some jealousy, but this transforms into determination to do better, to get out there. I remind myself that I have a book published with a great small press, and another on the way, and that I am doing the thing I wanted to do. It’s such hard work and can be totally demoralising, but aren’t the joys wonderful when they come around? (eg went to the American Bookshop in Mikan and they have sold out of my books!)
Yeah for being sold out! What a happy can-do spirit you have!
This post made me feel much better about that little green gremlin who’s been perched on my shoulder for some time now. My very first experience with this was when I was writing my first book. I came across another book that had just been published, a completely different story from mine, but similar as far as the fact it was a coming of age story and set in the south. I bought the book to see how this author wrote her book, how she crafted her sentences and how she worked her character development, etc. I felt mine was as good, if not better. I bent my head down and pounded on the keys, I kept going, motivated by this “fact.” I got an agent. The book went on submission. And then, the gremlin struck again, when I found out another book went on submission about the same time as mine, to the same editors, and sold in a “significant deal.” It too, was coming of age story in the south. What did we get? What’s that thing about hearing crickets?
What did that do? Well, it built a fire under my rear end. I wrote a second book. My editor loved it, my agent thought it was good, even a couple of other agents in London loved it. But we didn’t go on submission with that one…we felt we needed something even more commercial.
So, at this time I’m working on a third novel… and all the while, I keep an eye on the books being sold, and each time, one similar to one of mine sells, that green gremlin pops his head up, but I simply flick him him away with my fingers, and then put them to good use, on my laptop.
I live this story! This is my story too. We should be friends 😉 All you can do is keep writing and that’s what we do!
Thank you for putting jealousy into perspective! If this is how you write, WHY aren’t you on the front table? Who can I protest to?
Bless you! I mean actually! How sweet are you?! Just keep buying books that aren’t blockbusters. Those authors are me, and you, and the gal who wrote the comment above. Not everyone gets on the front table but we all find our readers eventually…
Love her spirit and attitude. There’s a lot of competition out there, but with her spunk, Jennie will be back in the game and I’ll see her books piled up at B&N. Now what about mine?? Better get to work.
What a brave and wonderful post. Jennie actually showed me this post and I was astonished because I myself was having a terrible traumatic time of it and I wrote to Jennie and said, “if you knew how I struggle and suffer, you would never be jealous of the likes of me.” I think every writer feels this way and the way to deal with it is the way Jennie did–to talk about it., put it in its place and keep writing Plus, I happen to think Jennie is enormously gifted! I was honored to blurb her book! And I think every book finds its own way, it’s own time. Liionel Shriver wrote an amazing piece about how her agent dropped her when she submitted We Need To Talk About Kevin. No publisher wanted to pick it up. She finally sold it herself, and it had virtually no reviews. But people began handing it to other people, word of mouth, and it went on to win the Orange Prize, to be a bestseller, and everything else.
You are so gracious, Caroline…and you’re right. All writers find their own way and success has a different meaning for every person and every book. xoxo
Ah, Jennie, your book is wonderful–and so are many books that never make it big, for reasons known only to the Marketing Muses. I can speak highly of Caroline’s generosity as well, and of how gifted she is as both a writer AND a mainstay supporter of other writers. I think I’m with Amy in saying I don’t feel jealous of other writers, exactly–there is definitely room for all of us, and success for one writer is good news for ALL of us, because the first thing a reader will do after reading a great book is go shop for another one. However, I do admit to sometimes feeling that kind of crisis in confidence when confronted, for instance, by a good friend of mine, Susan Straight, who earned an MFA in the same program I went to, and went on to publish six novels before I even published one–and also won nearly every major literary award along the way. She’s one of my best friends, so yes, that was in my face, always. However, I have always been happy for her, and Susan has always, always, called me a writer and introduced me as such any time I was her “date” at one of these awards ceremonies, and that meant the world to me–and made me feel that, yes, my time would come, I just had to keep working hard and knocking on doors. So I did, and you know what? Jennie’s right: inspiration, jealousy, wistfulness, whatever you want to call it, can be a great motivator to keep us going. Knowing you can get up again after you fall is one of the most important lessons a writer can learn.
Thanks for this, Holly. What a nice circle of writers is gathering here. So fun!